too many things are piling on i'm almost suffocating

jip was supposed to be the ~honeymoon~, the lull, the only time in jc we get to relax. but all i can think about these days is that shit - the battles between the different faiths etc. and everything that i seem to be losing nowadays.

when i get home all i do is sleep bc what else can i do to get away from myself

last friday (i think) janelle and i crashed the math foundation lecture and in the minutes between solving trig equations i reminisced about the ~happy days in rg long past~ with the staying-in-class-for-recess-again gang haha <: laughing till our stomachs hurt and drawing nyan cats with our erasers during ss and making a pen holder out of a sleepy deskmate's belt and throwing stationery down each other's pinafores to keep ourselves awake etc etc

we were such kids :') i will miss jfc so so much and the saddest part is i won't even be missed :'(

on a side note it is curious how i seem to become a better student as i become a worse person. in rg i could not even fathom being able to keep awake during lessons, no matter how early i slept the night before ... but now? i stay awake throughout most lectures almost effortlessly. and even though i might not be very attentive most of the time it's like my ex best friend the sleep monster just leaves me alone during school hours now (well for the most part) like wow is this a miracle or is this a miracle.

just that i crash once i get home.

this post is getting a little disjointed hm

i did really badly for my SATs. my essay only has one single intro para and that's it. so fucking pissed bc i should have known 25 min is really short -__- and the other sections weren't all that good either ha ha

we had it's uncomplicated today and everyone was teasing px about her boyboys
sometimes i find i can simply switch off, which is useful

i really forgot how this blogging thing works man what do i even write about here i give up

p/s: it's weird how my personality is 70% the last book i read bc now i'm starting to adopt janelle tenner's bitchy attitude and every time someone says janelle (ong)'s name i think of janelle tenner instead