i am inclined to disagree and make a big fuss out of this but yknow ... i guess it's true (i'm just too hotheaded to think clearly) and well ~serenity~ says it all. silence is golden, speech is silver etc etc. if i really were to say every single thing i want to i would run out of saliva really quickly and i would have even fewer friends ~_~ mouths are best kept shut.

[sorry i can't seem to keep my mouth shut]
i mean everyone i know is either a) pretty b) sociable c) talented d) smart or any kind of combination of the above options and here i am ... neither a nor b nor c nor d. is it not depressing to be reminded of  your flaws every single day? ya i know think positive thoughts seek god all that shit lah but sometimes you find yourself falling back into the same hole over and over again and you're on your back you're staring at the stars -- look how they mock you! they laugh derisively at everything you try to be -- they know you know that you will never ever succeed. why bother trying anymore? i didn't study for chem ppa at all this time (despite me going through the facade of opening my chem file and turning the pages periodically, but all worksheets in there are blank so it's quite pointless) and you know sometimes when you don't study and you have friends who are like you and don't study you just share your not-studying-ness with them cos you don't feel ashamed, but then this time i was genuinely ashamed of not studying because it is waaay beyond even my normal standards of not-studyingness (ie studying the hour before the exam / the day before / listening in class minimally) and i just pretended that i did and was denying it so that i appear cooler and all that but .... ya i didn't study. at all.

boy oh boy i can hardly wait to get my paper back so completely fab right :-) don't study, fail my paper, get my just desserts. also i realised that my recent bio results are probably the reason why marie huang now miraculously recognises me.

on a brighter note, i got a super cool new laptop :') to convince my parents i brought all my 4.0 papers out and asked them to sign all of them it was really quite amusing haha so yay, now i don't have to do my ss aa on my phone hahaha (geog aa was horebil). it also means i have no excuse to do stuff i've been neglecting hehe :p like coughfifteenthanniversarycough and ahemf1ahem.

so i shall be bringing my brand new laptop to school tomorrow for ss cos i have not started and am not planning to tonight [12.50am]