Am currently obsessed with Ed Sheeran's new album!! I love the songs and how multicultural they all are and of course I do know they're engineered this way to target a wider audience and make more money and they're kinda devoid of any defining character but I love them for all that they sing about.

The urge to create anything today was real. So I wrote a poem inspired by Friends by Ed Sheeran (it came on my Spotify while I was listening to his new album). Though I'm supposed to be training to be an engineer, I am in spirit still an artistic soul, even if I hardly have skill in expressing myself through any medium.

"i need a friend, not a lover"

you're a shoulder to lean on
a listening ear to count on
a pack of tissues when i cry

but you're also a hand that holds mine
and lips that graze mine
and a jacket when it's colder
but i need a friend, not a lover

you stay by me so i don't get lonely
you follow me home till i'm cozy
and then you kiss me goodnight

our conversations in the dark
we talk about getting older
maybe a house in the future
but i need a friend, not a lover

and when no one else is around
you sneak under my covers
and we undress each other
but i need a friend, not a lover

you kiss me
but i need a friend, not a lover

just hold me
i need a friend, not a lover

On Thursday I talked to Fel, and then we tried to turn Shao Kai's laptop into a see-through Mac



A for effort la hor.

Also am currently obsessing over Katy Perry's new MV after SK introduced it to me I love it when people use art to speak out about political issues it gives it such a practical purpose and meaning :') And I love the vintage vibe that she went for, it has the Stepford Wives feel eh doesn't it.

Ya I don't really have a unified purpose for this post, it's more like a series of things that have been of interest to me lately, without getting too dark. I was kinda emo yesterday night especially when faced with the choice of my specialisation and then thinking about how my current TBL-mates aren't exactly my friends (was left alone at the table yesterday, only to be rescued by SK Fel and Sipei) but I am glad though, that I have chosen such great friends. Glad I'm not longer in REPabak either, they weren't the best bros in general... at the same time glad that I am able to maintain my friendships with Gerald and (to a lesser extent) Ashley because they are the two more decent people of the gang. Glad also for Liangwei who's such a ridiculous joke but also an amazing inspiration to me, glad for him and James who enlighten me about myself because I am too blinded by self-doubt and pride to judge clearly. Overall not a bad deal tbh :)

My budding friendship with Joseph is also nice, we do have an authentic connection. The other day we sat at Koufu for hours just talking about ... I'm not even sure actually, everything and anything? It's something rare to find my type of people and to feel understood. Of course it's nice to have laughs, to be the center of attention, to be loud and spunky and everything, but it's comforting to know you have people you can have quiet and meaningful conversations with too.

Maybe I'm no longer the girl who everyone knows and who everyone is instinctively comfortable with because I'm made fun of so often, but I want to at least be the girl who has real friends who understand and accept her as she is. I think that's more important.

I'm not very eloquent, especially nowadays when all I do in school is math and more math. English is no longer the instrument that I knew inside out, that I could play in my sleep. But I do hope I made myself understandable, at the very least. I do hope that future versions of me can imagine themselves into my current state of mind when they read my blog entries. Because that's the whole purpose of this isn't it?

Last update: Kai Lynn flew off last month! I miss her already; I miss knowing that I can't just ask to meet her whenever I want :(



Our last outing before she flew off to aussie :(

Also I cut my hair (a little too short) and SK IS MAKING FUN OF IT OMG validate me guys tell me it's okay