behind the blood-stained veil lies an entrance to a brave new world *-* because sacrifices i guess
also i hate it that people are (kind-of) mocking me because of my many shortcomings like not my fault i was born this way go blame God if you're not happy

i'm already very not happy with myself i don't need you to remind me too ok sigh i wish for a time when people treat me like an actual person who actually matters

something eileen told me last year: "you exist"
but if don't matter to anyone, do i still exist??? because if my absence will go forever unnoticed then my presence will never be acknowledged and i will cease to exist in anyone's world but my own

can i at least be pretty or smart or something God pls ha ha not funny