ah, the culture of dreams *-* i just visited the library again and borrowed some books life is good

i have been bursting with things to say but when i finally decide to sit down and draft a proper post my mind is suddenly wiped clean  o k a y

so today was funfair day c: it was quite fun lah especially the haunted houses and the slenderman one which was so creepy because there were so many slenders around grabbing our legs and tickling us with raffia strings and eating the tau huey / subway cookies that my class was selling

the funniest thing was when it was my shift we sold out so we all just slacked around and played bridge

and today we got our GPA calculations  o m g  why do i do this to myself
surprisingly it was above 3.0 but still low enough to warrant a 10-year house arrest because they wouldn't allow anything below 3.6 (yes yes mockery is welcome ;__; would really appreciate it)

also though i have photoshop on this com it is so laggy and unfamiliar that i would rather continue using gimp

oh look what i have subjected me to

no
so overwhelmed with (the r word) that i have become nothing but a shell that houses my otherwise disembodied voice and i do not even think why why hwyhw wy did i not confess why did i say no why didn't i pluck up enough courage omg it's not even that i didn't know i am so confused (bingung) and i guess that few seconds just decided my fate for the next 2? 3? years

because i wouldn't listen to everyone
because i am toooooooooooo proud
because i am a fucking idiot!!!!

that is why

too many feels
see this is why i have been rambling on and on about things that don't even matter

so people just stick by me cos i'm just some sort of comic relief to them
like oh my gosh that 15-y/o over there behaves like an 11-y/o
that is so amusing how do i get her to talk
i think she's mute either that or she's dumb
i look so good beside her cos she is just so untalented and ugly and socially awkward
but careful that i don't spend too much time near her yknow cos it's social suicide and all
ha ha  ha    ha ha  wow people


i have this perennial fear of everyone and more specifically neighbours complaining about my piano playing esp at odd hours like 2:45 in the morning

and that, guise, is why i am prepared to just flunk everything including my grade 8