i guess this post is slightly depressing
good heavens

maybe this is classified under insanity and i'm pretty sure it goes past obsessive obsession but for once i've found a goal in life (driven by hard jealousy but it goes beyond jealousy too because i don't just hate her now) because every time i play i hear her voice going one-three-oh baby!!!1 and i feel like going up to her and pointing at my cert and saying ya but look 131 because

also i cannot find my ruler

anyway ...... -continued- because you're always saying i don't put in effort and you tried harder than me but i beat you omg you r damn noob l o l o l o l o l no skills they suck

i think it's just this that you're sensitive about because you admitted (---) and i have no idea what to believe already but anywey i have decided that even if my fingers bleed from this i'm determined to try my very best this time and put in my all omg this sounds so chizzy leike cheeze but i loved your look when i told you one hour

it seemed to me that it justified everything that i needed to be assured about at that time which on hindsight seems a little silly even though now i'm still seeking reassurance so i guess i'm just always silly

you are damn talentless
oh i am am i
you have no skills
ah really
you are damn talentless
ok
you have no skills
oh
you are damn talentless
i know
you have no skills
KILL ME NOW I HAVE NO SKILLS
you are damn talentless
GOODBYE WORLD


i found my ruler btw

p/s:
1. my ankle got twisted / sprained / idk on friday during captain's ball and now it still hurts every time i move it but i don't know what i should do about it cos it doesn't seem like nothing serious
2. my parents are begging me to study already
3. i'm hungry
4. we're all slowly turning nocturnal
5. i kind of like dawn more and more c: .... dawn my classmate i mean
6. i don't know which of you i hate more fucking bitch that i am
7. what kills me even more is that i have no reason to hate you all
(angeline you are an exception h8ing u 5eva is the epitome of validity)
hahaaaaaaasdghahaha hfhahaha ymi laughing nsghhaha
8. i actually am kind of sorry / ashamed of how i'm treating her i mean we are childhood friends after all ;__; tho we don't really see much of each other except in sch but reading through her entries i realise she might be q nice and i think she's only about 9378572x cooler than i am .... well at least she made en effort to talk while i just retreat and talk to just pxj